66 ordspråk av Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien

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A public relations firm said that rock star David Lee Roth owes them over $110,000. The strange thing is that it's the first time that David Lee Roth has had any publicity in ten years.

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."

Funny

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans.

Movies

Baseball said it's instituting tougher steriod testing. For the 1st offense, players get a 10-game suspension. For repeat offenses, players will get a batting championship.

Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.

CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'

Come back to bed, God!

Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer.

Time

Experts say it could take 80 days to drain all of the flood water out of New Orleans. When President Bush heard this he said, '80 days, that's half a vacation.'

Fish recognize a bad leader.

Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge has unveiled a new color-coded system to warn the public about different states of danger. Red is the highest state of alert, and it means that Dick Cheney is about to eat a mozzarella stick.

I still can't really believe that he talked to me, ... If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, they can't take that away from me.

I think he's the most graceful comedic performer of the century,

I wanted two solid months of Neil Young, but he told me it was, quote, 'getting creepy,'

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